This was absolutely crazy. A free arm fell over his already closed eyes as a palm remained rested on the Jashinist’s toned chest. This is where the very life force of the man he loved lied. Heh… Hidan was right, that’s for sure. The pounding didn’t feel at all like his but somehow, his senses could pick up the warm but faint heartbeat inside the very man he just completely gave himself to. “It’s hard to believe in something we’ve never really felt or experienced, ya know?”
The word ℓσνє… What did it all really mean?
He too had never known the meaning of such a strong expression and for all he knew, this could be a mere infatuation. Anatomy shifted on top of him, scent becoming strong as the elder male closed the distance between the two. Naruto’s position remained where it was, continuing to register every single one of Hidan’s words. Was it bad to say that he wanted to hear all of them? Here him opening up more to him? It was such a vulnerable time for the both of them, one that the blond shinobi wasn’t used to in the slightest.
"I always think about you too…" Words came out in almost a whisper, but they were audible. "What you do is a lot more dangerous than what I do… I mean… I go on assignments and stuff but I always get scared that you’ll be gone one day too, ya know?" He’d lost too many people in his life that protecting the people he loved was his number one priority, immortal or not.
"I guess it is all part of it ‘ttebayo."
Stray dactyl glided through silver tresses as he felt a pair of tiers on his neck. He knew he was rambling again, but there were so many things traveling through his mind that it was hard to stop any thought process.
"Ne… I think this is the first time I don’t know what to say. Pretty crazy, huh?"
"Wow." He was certain the smirk could be heard in his voice. "I left the goddamn hyperactive ninja speechless? I think this is a fucking historic moment right here. Should I make a record of it?" He finally lifted his head to grin down at the blond. Teasing was his forte, and while the conversation was a serious one, he needed to throw some banter in there somewhere. It was what they knew, and it put him at ease.
He shifted his weight against Naruto’s body to avoid crushing the younger male. Proximity had stopped being an issue with them. He enjoyed the closeness, the feel of Naruto’s warmth paired with his own, the way they shared the air they breathed. With a sigh, he leaned down to lightly nip at the blond’s jaw.
"Look," He began, swallowing hard. He was never good with words, so he would have to try pretty hard to come up with the right thing to say. "We don’t have to talk about this shit. I mean, let’s be honest, I’m no fucking romantic. And I’ll never be one. Not even for you." He squeezed Naruto’s nose with a small smile. "But now we know how we feel, right? I don’t fucking think we need to sit here and talk about it. I wouldn’t even know what the hell to say."
He sighed and shook his head. “I don’t even know what the hell I’m saying now.”
There were so many thoughts, so many emotions flowing through him. Not a single one was coherent enough for him to convey. “Ah, fuck it. I’m kissing you. I don’t give a shit about anything else. That’s what I want right now.”
Now he felt like his heart could really stop. Having Hidan inquire something like that, practically asking him to repeat what was mentioned earlier with more of an answer, made him feel like he was going to lose himself in his emotions. Naruto wasn’t even sure of what love really was, but if he wasn’t certain about his own feelings, would he have said what he said earlier?
Cerulean peered up into those familiar lilac optics while his anatomy shifted slightly, as the answer became more obvious. The comments from earlier, the whole worry over him getting caught one of these days, the image of him getting hurt… All of it affected the jinchuuirki in a way he never knew before. Yeah, he worried about his friends like this but when it came to the elder male… It was different. His heart literally hurt when he thought about those things.
Was that enough to confirm his answer though?
After a long moment, he felt the confidence returning in his voice, an answer finally arising. Eyes closed, unable to keep eye contact as he felt the redness in his features increase and a nod was managed. “Ne… I don’t know! I think a lot when we’re apart and I mean, I might not know what it really is but… I do dattebayo! I think I’ve known for a while but have never admitted it since its kind of weird to admit something you’ve never really felt at this kind of level, ya know?”
Oh god… Now he felt like he was rambling.
Silence loomed over them for a long moment before Naruto lowered his voice, only to repeat the three words of most importance.
”I…love you, Hidan.”
Hidan couldn’t blame the blond for his hesitation. It seemed neither of them had a full understand of what love actually was, though Hidan knew enough about the way he felt about Naruto to understand that he was pretty damn close. With Naruto’s confession, the jinchuriki seemed to be too.
He leaned his body back just a fraction of an inch to ghost his fingers down the blond’s side, anchoring them at the curve of hip. His eyes lingered on Naruto’s waist, remembering times before they had been so close. All the resistance he had been shown was justified, he’d taken their “relationship” as nothing more than a joke, saw Naruto as nothing more than stress reliever and a means to get release.
Now he knew every inch of Naruto’s body in more intimate ways than a mere sex friend would ever know. He understood what every inflection in the blond’s voice indicated, what every expression on his face could lead to. Violet hues slowly trailed up Naruto’s body, his hand following the path of his gaze until it paused over the heavily beating heart.
"You know…" He mused aloud, never quite lifting his gaze to meet the cerulean hues. "My heart doesn’t fucking beat this way cause it’s different. I think it’s the immortality, or maybe my heart is just as much of a shit as I am." He grabbed Naruto’s hand and pulled it against his own chest, a mirror image of his own. "But I know that it’s beating as hard as yours, or close to it."
He grimaced. “And I don’t fucking believe in love.” There was a moments hesitation. “But I think I feel it for you.” He sighed and bent his head forward to press against the juncture between Naruto’s neck and shoulder. This was a lot harder than anything else he’d done before, even giving himself over to his precious Jashin. “And I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do about it cause I don’t know how the fuck people deal with being in love. I just know I get really pissed off and frustrated when you’re gone and all I wanna do is tear everything apart until you show up. And suddenly I don’t feel so frustrated anymore.”
Fuck, I’m babbling.
He angled his head to brush his lips across the blond’s neck. “So I think that’s a part of love, right?”